Paddy is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder and when he is stopped at customs they find that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why; Paddy said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Murphy in Cork and he told me that he is starting up a jazz band and could I bring him back two saxophones."
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her Stammerer's Action Group.
She had tried every technique in the book, but still they stammered and stuttered.
Finally, totally exasperated, she said; "If any of you can tell me where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water."
The Englishman immediately piped up; "T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-ruro", he said.
"That's no use, Trevor" said the speech therapist, "Who's next?"
The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out; "G-g-g-g-g-g-gl-lasgow".
"That's no better either, Hamish. "
"Now, how about you, Paddy? "
The Irishman took a deep breath, counted to five and eventually blurted out; " London ".
"Brilliant, Paddy! " said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.
She takes him into her private office and after 10 minutes of steamy sex, Paddy said;