Welcome to Just Commodores, a site specifically designed for all people who share the same passion as yourself.

New Posts Contact us

Just Commodores Forum Community

It takes just a moment to join our fantastic community

Register

Joke of the Day

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
274
Reaction score
3,683
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
paddy's wife awakes during the night to find that her husband
is not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of
coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a
sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, paddy?' she whispers as she steps into the
room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
paddy looks up from his coffee, 'I'm just remembering
when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were
only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly.
The wife is almost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how
caring and sensitive her husband is. 'Yes, I do' she replies.paddy pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do
you remember when your dad caught us in the back seat
of my car?'
'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair
beside him.
paddy continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved
that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my
daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that, too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says....
'I would have fekin got out today!....lol
 

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
274
Reaction score
3,683
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
In Heaven Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn't think he would last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven. So he phoned Jesus to ask for the day off. "Why, Peter," Jesus said. "You know your health is my first concern. Take as much time as you need." As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter, he decided to handle the job himself. It was a very slow day and no one approached the Gates until late in the afternoon, when in the distance, Jesus saw a bent, white-haired old man slowly making his way up the path with the aid of a gnarled cane. As the man neared, Jesus said, "Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you?" "Well," replied the man, "I was hoping to enter the Gates of Heaven." "We would certainly love to have you," said Jesus, "but we do have certain rules as to who can enter Heaven. Tell me, what have you done to deserve such an honor?" "Actually, I have done nothing so wonderful myself," said the man. "I lived in a small town and led a simple life as a carpenter. But my son," he continued, "now HE was special!" With pride in his voice he said, "I raised him to be a carpenter like myself and did my best to teach him right from wrong. And when he grew older, an amazing transformation overcame him and to this day he's known throughout the world and loved by all alike." As Jesus listened to the story, a sense of recognition came to him. With a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, he threw open his arms and cried, "Father!" Emotional at this outburst, the old man threw open his arms and yelled, "Pinocchio?"
 

UTE042_NZ

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2017
Messages
273
Reaction score
804
Points
93
Location
New Zealand
Members Ride
MY17 Magnum Ute
Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?

A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2020
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lex

Mavericks Choice

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
274
Reaction score
3,683
Points
93
Location
NSW
Members Ride
VF2 SSV M6, VF2 LS3 Calais V, VZ 6L M6 Crewie
Boris Johnson walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Johnson: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister.
Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Johnson: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Johnson, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Johnson, "Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Johnson stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Johnson. ?....
 
Top